Hey, Peace to you all
(I don’t think this entry has got to do anything with the main topic of E _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ –so sorry for the digression if it doesn’t match with the title of the main topic)
First and foremost, I must express how grateful I am to receive a comment from a friend in my previous entry. At the very least, I will begin to realise that someone acknowledges the purpose of my blog. In addition, I would also like to express my gratitude to firstly, my parents, my brother and friends for the wishes of happy birthday. I’d enjoy my own humour with “21st Birthday in the 21st Century”.
In any case, I’ll proceed with today’s entry as I’m left with 56 minutes of the first day of being 21 of age as I’m typing this. Besides, I need a rest due to another trip to the gym with my cousin Fadhil tomorrow. Moreover, I’m down with a mild headache. I hope it isn’t a sign of another attack of HFMD (please, God! I don’t wish for those torturous days again).
So, I think I’ll concede to the world that I’d once commented on something on a particular YouTube video. Alright –it’s about one of the episodes in The Deen Show where how a less-practicing Muslim became convinced with the religion of Islam. And by the way, I’m not here to promote any religion. This blog is like a diary; a sharing of my own experience to the world as how Descartes asked for readers to lay aside biasness and prejudices and put themselves in his shoes to understand his conviction of reality (and probably truth) in his book Meditations. It is because in the very first place, I mentioned should any of you feel offended, you may stop reading and leave my blog –yes, you are more than welcome to correct me on anything (and I need to know if I do need a tag-board for readers without Google account to drop their comments).
Returning to the issue, I posted a comment which goes, “Masya’Allah… The brother’s struggle is as similar as how I am facing now…”
That was three months ago. The title of the episode is Omar Challenges Islam. I may add the video for any of you to watch at the end of this post. If you cannot wait, then here’s the link; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6e0yLHrXTY.
So, a brother sent me a personal email to my YouTube account, offering me help i.e. to fix my dilemma and quandaries. Of course upon learning he was a former Christian who is now a Muslim, I gladly shared the doubts I had (and I do still have these doubts today). As a matter of fact, I am inclined to hear the stories of the conversions of others from one religion to another, not necessarily to Islam alone –and once in a while, I would like to understand why some Muslims leave the religion for another faith, say, Christianity or others. I am keen to understand how they come to a conclusion of certain things being the truth from God.
But I won’t be happy if you leave for the sake of your friends or due to what you hear from the media instead of doing your homework and thorough research. Once in a while, I hope I don’t have to explain why, hoping you readers would think for yourself. What do you have to do if you’re truly seeking the truth? Search for it, isn’t it?
Coming back to the brother whom I befriended with through YouTube, we did exchange emails, sharing about how we lived in the different parts of the world –if I remember correctly, he was from UK. It is amazing to once in a while communicate with someone from another part of the world –I even wish once I’m studying overseas, doing my best to adapt to a different environment. Well, in the end, I shared a probably lengthy email with the brother. Here is goes –by the way, should I make any changes to the original email, it is only in the aspect of grammar;
Waalaikumusalam wr wb
Thank you, brother. I'm truly grateful for your concern. At the same time, I'm terribly sorry for such a late reply. Well, I'm a Singaporean, probably from the smallest country in the globe with only a dot on the map. It's a multi-racial harmony nation and based on my experience of living there, we're quite sensitive with regards of religious issues to a point one is not allowed to criticise another person's faith due to respect (this can be seen as both good and bad way). There was a case whereby a pastor criticised about the practices of Taoism and this issue became hoo-ha and even publicised due to the lack of respect given by the speaker. Of course, the pastor did apologise but judging from the incident, I hope I'm shedding some lights how religious issues can be very sensitive here.
In any case, I'm sorry to have strayed away from our discussion. If you wouldn't mind, I'll explain to you from the start i.e. how my doubts came about. As you mentioned, some people lost faith in God mainly out of emotional reasons. At times, I faced that too and I'm still facing that. However, that wouldn't have become a big issue if there's nothing in between the period of me being a believing Muslim to a sceptical one. In fact, I'm not pretty sure if I'm still a Muslim –I merely say I'm a Muslim because I do still have some fear in God seeded in me since young along with my upbringing, Really, I do still perform my prayers and fast.
From another Muslim's perspective, that would be a good thing i.e. not straying from the religion. But on the contrary, I felt I was like one of the prisoners of Plato's Cave, which I hope you've heard of it before. I had so much fear about studying about other people's religion from their point of view out of so much fear that I could only afford to learn about it in the Islamic perspective.
It all started when a particular religion –and sadly, a monotheistic one – propagated about miracles etc. That was more than enough to shake my beliefs. People claiming to see this and that and I started searching for an argument which refuted most of these claims but could hardly find any, though I did including making my own thoughts simply because some of these propaganda were not convincing enough. I was frustrated that I started losing patience at certain point of time.
Life was all beautiful prior to that turning point of my life. But it was only because I relied on only what I was taught and attended. I never considered learning other faiths from their perspectives. So, I was only viewing them through the windows of my "box". As I said before, life was beautiful back then, able to pursue for my dreams and ambitions because I had certainty.
But I could hardly be ambitious these days. Quoting from the lecturer Nouman Ali Khan during one of the episodes of The Deen Show, before we could talk about wealth or what kind of house or car we want, we've to solve the issue of survival. Truth is the safest platform to stand on; I believe with truth along with true and full conviction, I need not fear even the most tyrannical person on the surface of the earth because I know that God is with me.
Of course, having a "beautiful" life back then was not exactly a perfect one for me either. I was ignorant especially when in the times of argument. I'm not exactly sure if you've confronted some of these Muslims who debated out of egotism, using their knowledge as a weapon to bring others down rather than being humble to ourselves. I was that kind of person. Moreover I'd probably become worse due to learning only from the perspective of my own faith.
I've come across various videos, debates and lectures by certain scholars such as one of the most respected scholars Sheikh Ahmad Deedat, Dr Zakir Naik and many more including reading articles and books written by certain Muslim(s) who were once people of other religions, particularly Dr Jerald F. Dirks. It's not out my intention to criticise them or any of these scholars. Rather, I truly appreciate their efforts.
However, I cannot believe their words as an absolute truth. No, I do not find criticism in anyone and I do not wish to find fault as that would only lead to frustration. I mean –scholars are humans too and whatever background they're from, they may have made unintentional mistakes or even worst, own biasness. Once again, I hope you understand that I'm not criticising any of the abovementioned scholars as anyone could possibly make these mistakes regardless of their backgrounds, be it Muslims, Christians or any other faiths.
"Seeing is as though believing" is probably one of a well-known quote and I believe it –but to a certain extent. Arguments could at times be objective i.e. a lecturer might have prejudice and attempted to obscure the truth by steering us into believing his or her perceptions and ideologies. Due to that, I personally would rather take the path in studying different theories on my own while relying on the arguments brought up by scholars –any scholars from all over the world and all faiths – as opinions are meant to be revisited and studied with an unbiased mind. Again, I'm not criticising anyone or his work pertaining to this matter. But at the same time, I must admit that I could no longer continue the habit of swallowing others' words and then making assumptions that I'm on the right path. What if what we're given is exactly what we want to hear? Why Islam? Why not Christianity... or other religions? Why do I feel so hurtful about how other faiths describing theirs as the truth, the light and the way of life? My agony isn't based on any misconceptions that others might have brought up about the religion I am born into. In fact, I believe all religions teach us good conducts.
So, what kinds of discomforts were I having back then when I first watched preachers of other faiths speaking confidently out of conviction? Were they aware of the information brought up by scholars of other faiths about theirs? How did they react to it? Obviously there were refutations about this and that, here and there... But how convincing could these arguments be?
Life was a total messed-up for me and even now. But thank God it isn't as worst as those days. Maybe we could argue with others with the available resources and information. Unfortunately, I personally think if people were to resort to taking others' opinions or arguments and use them as tools, then it'd be good if I were to raise this question; what exactly are we arguing about? Why are we protecting our beliefs through the knowledge of others as weapons? How sure are we as we argue? How sure are we?
More importantly, how can we rely on them when we've never studied as much as these scholars? There are other factors to be considered such as, have we known truth? Have we read exactly what's written on the side of the other faiths i.e. reading the Bible or Torah? We keep relying on Sheikh Ahmad Deedat's arguments and keep reusing them over again and again but how far can we go since most of us have never even touch the Bible? Is it safe then for me to say we're only viewing the beliefs of others "inside" the box we're in without revisiting and examining ours to confirm if these are the truth i.e. what and how we ought to be etc.?
Having saying that, I must admit how much I admire people of other faiths who converted to another religion after doing their homework out of sincerity –and as I don't want to be biased, I've to find out too why people switch beliefs and what exactly is the journey they been through to come to a conclusion that this or that is the truth. Whether a Christian comes to Islam or vice versa, I feel it's worth learning from their stories in what religious journey they've been through.
It's because at the end of the day, I want to be sincere to myself. Undeniably, I'm a human and as one, it's not surprising of me to question about the purpose of my existence. I'm deeply hurt with the emptiness and anxiety residing in me. Maybe back then I couldn't find a reason behind these discomforts but maybe now I have. It's a sensation whereby I've seen this but I've not seen that and I'm forced to live by what I know and ignore what I don't. Strangely enough, I brushed those feelings aside as though they aren't worth pondering about. But isn't that a sign of ignorant as well?
I hope I've explained to you regarding my problem. I'm truly sorry if it's too long but I really don't have anyone to share. Really, if I were to talk about this to most of my Muslim friends, because we live in the same country (and hence, having a gist how similar are their lives and mine), I think they're not able to understand. Even if they could point out whereby some scientists have proven there are miracles in the Quran which are proven scientifically, am I supposed to believe them explicitly? Or should I study more? After all, this is not the only religion that's preaching the truth. It goes back to what I've mentioned above –about us using the same arguments but not revisiting them on our own.
Every faith on the surface of the earth would want to propagate their beliefs. I can't possibly talk to non-Muslims either because it's uncomfortable when you're searching for the truth yet at the same time someone's not only explaining to you about his faith (e.g. the foundation of his beliefs and various practices) but as well as hoping you'd be converted to the religion he's preaching.
I hope I'm sincere in this journey and not have strayed too far. I fear about the loss of my humanity and somehow, I feel that whatever Plato said about reason, passion and desires are all real. Even if they cannot be empirically proven, I believe we feel these entities in ourselves. Yet at the same time, we know too the consequences should we fail to attain self-control.
Yours Sincerely
'Izuddin
I think I’m done for now. Pardon me for such a lengthy entry. It seems every entry starts to get longer and longer –I’ll do my best to shorten the next ones. And yes, it is five minutes before the first day of me being 21 is over –but I don’t know what time will it be after I put this up.
Once again, I’m done for now.
(I don’t think this entry has got to do anything with the main topic of E _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ –so sorry for the digression if it doesn’t match with the title of the main topic)
First and foremost, I must express how grateful I am to receive a comment from a friend in my previous entry. At the very least, I will begin to realise that someone acknowledges the purpose of my blog. In addition, I would also like to express my gratitude to firstly, my parents, my brother and friends for the wishes of happy birthday. I’d enjoy my own humour with “21st Birthday in the 21st Century”.
In any case, I’ll proceed with today’s entry as I’m left with 56 minutes of the first day of being 21 of age as I’m typing this. Besides, I need a rest due to another trip to the gym with my cousin Fadhil tomorrow. Moreover, I’m down with a mild headache. I hope it isn’t a sign of another attack of HFMD (please, God! I don’t wish for those torturous days again).
So, I think I’ll concede to the world that I’d once commented on something on a particular YouTube video. Alright –it’s about one of the episodes in The Deen Show where how a less-practicing Muslim became convinced with the religion of Islam. And by the way, I’m not here to promote any religion. This blog is like a diary; a sharing of my own experience to the world as how Descartes asked for readers to lay aside biasness and prejudices and put themselves in his shoes to understand his conviction of reality (and probably truth) in his book Meditations. It is because in the very first place, I mentioned should any of you feel offended, you may stop reading and leave my blog –yes, you are more than welcome to correct me on anything (and I need to know if I do need a tag-board for readers without Google account to drop their comments).
Returning to the issue, I posted a comment which goes, “Masya’Allah… The brother’s struggle is as similar as how I am facing now…”
That was three months ago. The title of the episode is Omar Challenges Islam. I may add the video for any of you to watch at the end of this post. If you cannot wait, then here’s the link; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J6e0yLHrXTY.
So, a brother sent me a personal email to my YouTube account, offering me help i.e. to fix my dilemma and quandaries. Of course upon learning he was a former Christian who is now a Muslim, I gladly shared the doubts I had (and I do still have these doubts today). As a matter of fact, I am inclined to hear the stories of the conversions of others from one religion to another, not necessarily to Islam alone –and once in a while, I would like to understand why some Muslims leave the religion for another faith, say, Christianity or others. I am keen to understand how they come to a conclusion of certain things being the truth from God.
But I won’t be happy if you leave for the sake of your friends or due to what you hear from the media instead of doing your homework and thorough research. Once in a while, I hope I don’t have to explain why, hoping you readers would think for yourself. What do you have to do if you’re truly seeking the truth? Search for it, isn’t it?
Coming back to the brother whom I befriended with through YouTube, we did exchange emails, sharing about how we lived in the different parts of the world –if I remember correctly, he was from UK. It is amazing to once in a while communicate with someone from another part of the world –I even wish once I’m studying overseas, doing my best to adapt to a different environment. Well, in the end, I shared a probably lengthy email with the brother. Here is goes –by the way, should I make any changes to the original email, it is only in the aspect of grammar;
Waalaikumusalam wr wb
Thank you, brother. I'm truly grateful for your concern. At the same time, I'm terribly sorry for such a late reply. Well, I'm a Singaporean, probably from the smallest country in the globe with only a dot on the map. It's a multi-racial harmony nation and based on my experience of living there, we're quite sensitive with regards of religious issues to a point one is not allowed to criticise another person's faith due to respect (this can be seen as both good and bad way). There was a case whereby a pastor criticised about the practices of Taoism and this issue became hoo-ha and even publicised due to the lack of respect given by the speaker. Of course, the pastor did apologise but judging from the incident, I hope I'm shedding some lights how religious issues can be very sensitive here.
In any case, I'm sorry to have strayed away from our discussion. If you wouldn't mind, I'll explain to you from the start i.e. how my doubts came about. As you mentioned, some people lost faith in God mainly out of emotional reasons. At times, I faced that too and I'm still facing that. However, that wouldn't have become a big issue if there's nothing in between the period of me being a believing Muslim to a sceptical one. In fact, I'm not pretty sure if I'm still a Muslim –I merely say I'm a Muslim because I do still have some fear in God seeded in me since young along with my upbringing, Really, I do still perform my prayers and fast.
From another Muslim's perspective, that would be a good thing i.e. not straying from the religion. But on the contrary, I felt I was like one of the prisoners of Plato's Cave, which I hope you've heard of it before. I had so much fear about studying about other people's religion from their point of view out of so much fear that I could only afford to learn about it in the Islamic perspective.
It all started when a particular religion –and sadly, a monotheistic one – propagated about miracles etc. That was more than enough to shake my beliefs. People claiming to see this and that and I started searching for an argument which refuted most of these claims but could hardly find any, though I did including making my own thoughts simply because some of these propaganda were not convincing enough. I was frustrated that I started losing patience at certain point of time.
Life was all beautiful prior to that turning point of my life. But it was only because I relied on only what I was taught and attended. I never considered learning other faiths from their perspectives. So, I was only viewing them through the windows of my "box". As I said before, life was beautiful back then, able to pursue for my dreams and ambitions because I had certainty.
But I could hardly be ambitious these days. Quoting from the lecturer Nouman Ali Khan during one of the episodes of The Deen Show, before we could talk about wealth or what kind of house or car we want, we've to solve the issue of survival. Truth is the safest platform to stand on; I believe with truth along with true and full conviction, I need not fear even the most tyrannical person on the surface of the earth because I know that God is with me.
Of course, having a "beautiful" life back then was not exactly a perfect one for me either. I was ignorant especially when in the times of argument. I'm not exactly sure if you've confronted some of these Muslims who debated out of egotism, using their knowledge as a weapon to bring others down rather than being humble to ourselves. I was that kind of person. Moreover I'd probably become worse due to learning only from the perspective of my own faith.
I've come across various videos, debates and lectures by certain scholars such as one of the most respected scholars Sheikh Ahmad Deedat, Dr Zakir Naik and many more including reading articles and books written by certain Muslim(s) who were once people of other religions, particularly Dr Jerald F. Dirks. It's not out my intention to criticise them or any of these scholars. Rather, I truly appreciate their efforts.
However, I cannot believe their words as an absolute truth. No, I do not find criticism in anyone and I do not wish to find fault as that would only lead to frustration. I mean –scholars are humans too and whatever background they're from, they may have made unintentional mistakes or even worst, own biasness. Once again, I hope you understand that I'm not criticising any of the abovementioned scholars as anyone could possibly make these mistakes regardless of their backgrounds, be it Muslims, Christians or any other faiths.
"Seeing is as though believing" is probably one of a well-known quote and I believe it –but to a certain extent. Arguments could at times be objective i.e. a lecturer might have prejudice and attempted to obscure the truth by steering us into believing his or her perceptions and ideologies. Due to that, I personally would rather take the path in studying different theories on my own while relying on the arguments brought up by scholars –any scholars from all over the world and all faiths – as opinions are meant to be revisited and studied with an unbiased mind. Again, I'm not criticising anyone or his work pertaining to this matter. But at the same time, I must admit that I could no longer continue the habit of swallowing others' words and then making assumptions that I'm on the right path. What if what we're given is exactly what we want to hear? Why Islam? Why not Christianity... or other religions? Why do I feel so hurtful about how other faiths describing theirs as the truth, the light and the way of life? My agony isn't based on any misconceptions that others might have brought up about the religion I am born into. In fact, I believe all religions teach us good conducts.
So, what kinds of discomforts were I having back then when I first watched preachers of other faiths speaking confidently out of conviction? Were they aware of the information brought up by scholars of other faiths about theirs? How did they react to it? Obviously there were refutations about this and that, here and there... But how convincing could these arguments be?
Life was a total messed-up for me and even now. But thank God it isn't as worst as those days. Maybe we could argue with others with the available resources and information. Unfortunately, I personally think if people were to resort to taking others' opinions or arguments and use them as tools, then it'd be good if I were to raise this question; what exactly are we arguing about? Why are we protecting our beliefs through the knowledge of others as weapons? How sure are we as we argue? How sure are we?
More importantly, how can we rely on them when we've never studied as much as these scholars? There are other factors to be considered such as, have we known truth? Have we read exactly what's written on the side of the other faiths i.e. reading the Bible or Torah? We keep relying on Sheikh Ahmad Deedat's arguments and keep reusing them over again and again but how far can we go since most of us have never even touch the Bible? Is it safe then for me to say we're only viewing the beliefs of others "inside" the box we're in without revisiting and examining ours to confirm if these are the truth i.e. what and how we ought to be etc.?
Having saying that, I must admit how much I admire people of other faiths who converted to another religion after doing their homework out of sincerity –and as I don't want to be biased, I've to find out too why people switch beliefs and what exactly is the journey they been through to come to a conclusion that this or that is the truth. Whether a Christian comes to Islam or vice versa, I feel it's worth learning from their stories in what religious journey they've been through.
It's because at the end of the day, I want to be sincere to myself. Undeniably, I'm a human and as one, it's not surprising of me to question about the purpose of my existence. I'm deeply hurt with the emptiness and anxiety residing in me. Maybe back then I couldn't find a reason behind these discomforts but maybe now I have. It's a sensation whereby I've seen this but I've not seen that and I'm forced to live by what I know and ignore what I don't. Strangely enough, I brushed those feelings aside as though they aren't worth pondering about. But isn't that a sign of ignorant as well?
I hope I've explained to you regarding my problem. I'm truly sorry if it's too long but I really don't have anyone to share. Really, if I were to talk about this to most of my Muslim friends, because we live in the same country (and hence, having a gist how similar are their lives and mine), I think they're not able to understand. Even if they could point out whereby some scientists have proven there are miracles in the Quran which are proven scientifically, am I supposed to believe them explicitly? Or should I study more? After all, this is not the only religion that's preaching the truth. It goes back to what I've mentioned above –about us using the same arguments but not revisiting them on our own.
Every faith on the surface of the earth would want to propagate their beliefs. I can't possibly talk to non-Muslims either because it's uncomfortable when you're searching for the truth yet at the same time someone's not only explaining to you about his faith (e.g. the foundation of his beliefs and various practices) but as well as hoping you'd be converted to the religion he's preaching.
I hope I'm sincere in this journey and not have strayed too far. I fear about the loss of my humanity and somehow, I feel that whatever Plato said about reason, passion and desires are all real. Even if they cannot be empirically proven, I believe we feel these entities in ourselves. Yet at the same time, we know too the consequences should we fail to attain self-control.
Yours Sincerely
'Izuddin
I think I’m done for now. Pardon me for such a lengthy entry. It seems every entry starts to get longer and longer –I’ll do my best to shorten the next ones. And yes, it is five minutes before the first day of me being 21 is over –but I don’t know what time will it be after I put this up.
Once again, I’m done for now.
And oh -before I forgot;
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