Tuesday, October 12, 2010

CHAPTER 15: P_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Drives Me Mad; A Genesis?


Hey, aliens!


Pardon me for such a greeting. If you wouldn’t mind, I’ll explain to you why I gave you such a greeting.

Right –it’s 2nd October 2010 as I am typing this. However, I will probably not publish this so soon because I want a period of contemplating, reflecting and pondering what I am about to share later. I just want a certainty and firmness that what I have been thinking and the conclusions I have made is real.

Meanwhile as I am typing this down, I am waiting for a friend who is now in a meeting. So, I’d better write things down before I forget.

It was a day before that I read sort of a guidebook for Descartes’ Meditations –yes, I am referring to Rene Descartes, the French philosopher of the famous quote “I think, therefore I am” (cogito ergo sum). I have been reading it but where I last stopped did put my mind to a new form of doubt –everything. Initially, I felt compelled to brush his thoughts aside merely because I’d named his thought process as ridiculous. He questioned about the origin of himself –and I have a suspicion that his thoughts became an inspiration for the production of films The Matrix trilogy (probably everybody knows that already; so I am just citing in hopes that readers would have something to refer). I will do my best to summarise what his doubts are. And I hope I am not biased.

So, certainly some of you here believe the world is real through empirical findings i.e. you rely on your experiences of the world or your life through your five senses (and emotions).

But what if someone approaches you and claims that that belief of yours still does not prove that reality is? What if someone tells you that all that you have experienced with your five senses are simply interpreted by the electric signals in your brain? For all you know, you could be dreaming. Imagine yourself to be dreaming while you’re sleeping. Until you wake up, you never know you are dreaming, aren’t you?

This is more or less what Descartes been through. He questioned; what if he was actually nothing? What if he could only be a mind and that the body did not exist? This notion is similar to the idea of brain in a vat (but we must bear in mind that Descartes is a dualist). However for his case, he thought he could possibly be deceived by a demon.

If I remember correctly, because he believes that God is good by nature, it is not possible for God to hide the truth from him. In a nutshell, God wouldn’t let him been deceived all the time. Therefore, there are some parts or aspects of reality that exist –probably for him to know the world and possibly about his existence.

Now, if I ever misquote Descartes, please do correct me. And because I may not be accurate in what I have said above, I suggest you to read Meditations by Descartes.

I won’t deny that if we doubt about everything, life is then pointless and meaningless. The people around us may not seem even to exist to us. Therefore, is it alright of me to suggest that we are free to hurt everyone and live in our own way simply because everyone does not seem real to us?

At this point, I hope you have raised a question; what is reality? Or at least, what is my definition of real?

What Descartes brought up somehow becomes an issue which I feel I should delve upon. Despite that I was inclined to brush off his thought process I just wanted to be fair to myself. You see –if I were to reject his ideas without being reasonable i.e. go back to my life and believe what I choose to believe, probably I am no different from being an ignorant. At the very least, I want an explanation to convince myself why I choose to reject or accept his thoughts.

I understand how crazy this sounds especially to some of you exposed to religious beliefs (and probably already have faith in them). But it is not my wish to reject an idea of someone and then discredit him, say, labelling him mad. So, I guess if we were to do otherwise, probably that shows of our lack of respect towards another human being?

I could not deny that I did have a thought that I might not exist but my thoughts –in short, mind. But I simply brushed that issue aside, convinced that because I believe there is God, therefore He would not make so difficult upon us to search for the truth in which He wants us to believe.

I think last night was when I decided to think of it again. I was asking myself; why did I not think of this? How come I did not think as much as this person? And because I was so obsessed with all that I believed in, I questioned why someone would ask himself such a question –why did Descartes trouble himself (and the world) in questioning with regards to whatever I have shared above.

For some reason, I still believe there is God –because I exist since I think. I cannot think if I am not alive, if I am nothingness. Yet, it is possible of me being nothingness with the ability to think, therefore there is a mind. Because I think, it is possible that someone must have created me –someone must have created my mind. In order for me to think, I must exist. In order for me to exist, I must be created. Thus, possibly my mind is created for me to think –and since I think, I exist.

I think, therefore I am.

Is this what Descartes exactly been through? Somehow, I happened to utter the same thing as him.

But after that, I came to question myself further. Is it possible for only me to exist? What if all those around me are puppets, instruments as means of deception or hindrance in preventing me from finding what God wants of me?

No –such powerful being as God cannot possibly created me without a purpose. How could I be merely an instrument of fun for Him i.e. to watch me facing the ups and downs of –in what we called – life?

Having said all that is above, I do not say that God creates me out of mind before putting it into a body for me have experiences in this world. Rather, I am merely on a thought process to convince myself what reality or truth is. At the end of the day, the definition of truth or real is undeniably being either subjective or vague. I am merely on a thought process to convince of myself and all that is around me. Yet, I do not say I am created out of mind although as a Muslim, I am ought to believe that we all come as souls and witness His existence before we are all tried into this world.

I do really want to be certain of things, at least before I confront a sadistic part of my life, which will dawn next month.


O Lord, should I have gone astray in my thoughts
I beg Your Forgiveness and Guidance
And make me among those who believe You

Ameen


P.S: I do not greet you all by calling you “aliens” with the intention to be rude –but I hope the explanation of my doubts above render you to have something to ponder about

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