Evening, readers
It is still 2nd October 2010 as I am typing this. Apparently, I should continue pouring my thoughts because I do not wish to grow insane over my doubts. Life is set on wheels to be turned.
Here is the brief summary of the previous entry; even if the world and the people around me are not real, still I exist because of my thoughts; I think, therefore I am. Because I have the ability to think, I exist. Because I exist, that explains there must be a Creator who designed me.
But it isn’t fair of us to say that those who are mentally handicapped do not exist simply because they do not have the ability to think. They do exist.
Thinking provides us with reasoning, not to mention to plan for an execution of actions in our daily life. And that is probably a gift entrusted to us so that we can reason with ourselves; therefore hopefully with reason, we can understand the world better. Is it fair then to say that knowledge comes with understanding and comprehension of the nature of things? Because we are blessed with the capability to think and reason, therefore we are responsible for what the world is moreover our treatment towards the ones who are not given the ability to do so.
But before that even becomes a practice, how do we know for sure that these people do exist? How can I even be so sure that the people around me do exist and they are talking to me, not puppets sent as means of deception and hindrance to prevent me from seeking what God wants me to believe?
At this point, I don’t think I have much a choice but to believe God is good in nature. Even if I were to think that there is a demon who has control over my life, deceiving me all along, the fact or having faith that God is good grants me a notion that there are aspects of truth in which will allow me to reach Him and obey His Commandments so as to fulfil the existence of my life. Certainly, if I can accept the fact that there is a Creator, is it undeniable that the Creator who designed me knows about the nature of me? Interestingly, if I have a thought that all my life I have been deceived by a demon all along, would that not logically prove there are good and evil?
God still wants me to reach Him. I am still given the ability to think, therefore I exist. If a demon is more powerful than my Creator, then probably the ability to think would have been destroyed by the former. I don’t really suppose the demon would ever want me to “wake up” –he would probably be having fun to watch me facing hardships. It seems to me that life would then be something like placing a pet, say a hamster, into a box and watch it wanders aimlessly.
Imagine we are the ones who are responsible for placing the hamster into such “cage” and then we place hamster-dummies –non-living dolls in shapes of that same animal – and watch how the living hamster communicates with them. What if life was that way for us, to communicate with others when we do not even know that they may not exist but been programmed to entertain us and react according to our actions? Are we been fooled around and therefore we are the only ones in the world, like the hamster being the only living being in the box?
But since I am a thinking object, God does exist because I must be created in order for me to be given the ability to think. I would acknowledge there is an all Powerful and Supreme Being and thus even the demon is created by Him. Because He is All-Powerful, there is no way the demon could have defeated Him. God can never be defeated by His own creations. One way to rationally prove it is that; I do still think and again therefore I exist. So, I was wondering; if I happened to be the only one who exists in this world whereas everyone does not, is it alright of me to live by my own laws? Truly, there are plenty of girls out there who are tempting –it pretty seems to me that should I be the only one who exist, I should rush for them and rub my palms and fingers against their fleshes because of the nature which I feel it exists and resides within me. Or I could even rob the bank without having a fear of getting caught –because I know despite the police officers could touch and handcuff me, I know they do not exist but puppets programmed to “entertain” my actions.
But honestly, it is very frustrating to live in such a life whereby you think you are not bound by rules enforced by the “puppets” around you simply because you can break them owing the fact they do not exist. Using the example of robbing the bank, you know you’ll get caught and be thrown into prison. Other examples include having yourself bruised and punched all over your body by group of bullies or even as simply as facing heartbreak after being hurt by someone whom you love (especially if she walks out of your life yet you still yearn for her).
More importantly of you getting hurt and tormented, be it physically or mentally. At this point, I may choose to continue neglect those around me and treat them in whatever ways I want. I can be rude towards my parents; I can even choose not to be caring or compassionate towards others just because they do not exist. In fact, there seems to be nothing that can stop me from losing my temper –I am then allowed to scold anyone. Not omitting the issue of food, I can choose to eat whatever I desire. Interestingly, you can even point out because I believe only my mind exist, I can choose not to eat. But is that a good idea –not to eat at all i.e. starving myself?
At some point of time, I should be aware that I am affected by the things I do. After all the hurt and pain, will it not seem obvious of me to turn to my Creator and question of my purpose of my existence after failing to endure the hardships I am going through? If it is true the objects around me are “puppets”, why then could I not tolerate or endure all the pain they give me? Constant submission to sexual desires will lead me to empirical pains such as what we know today as HIV or AIDS. Not considering the types of food I eat may result in loads of health issues. It is not like I will not feel the pain of having too much intake of certain food. We know it for sure the types of food that cause diabetes or high blood pressure –and we do feel the pain when facing these illnesses.
Thus, is life still a game in the eyes of the Creator? The demon is out of picture because I already acknowledge that no matter how much he deceives me, my Creator will still protect me from deceptions. Good point! For, I just thought of something.
It does not make any sense to me that toying with one’s life is considered part of God’s nature of good moreover when He has protecting me from the sneaky demon. Who can then tell me what is the purpose of my life should I choose to question, assuming I could no longer endure all sorts of pain in this world? I mean –some of us might now turn to Him and ask “God, why have You given me this and that etc.?
I would have gladly accepted that God wants me to worship Him –and thus, that is my purpose of existence. However, I want to be sure of things. Because God is good in nature, He will provide me with guidance. Because God will provide me with guidance, then I am supposed to be looking into different beliefs and faiths. God cannot possibly approach me because I will still be questioning if that is Him. Even if He approaches me in His true form, how am I supposed to believe that is God after all my doubts? For all we know, it could be the demon in disguise. Oh –I made a mistake! God is All Powerful, so not even the demon has the capability to disguise as Him. But probably he could approach and say, “I am God; worship me”. Do you not think we have such things today e.g. Satanism or even people resorting to what we call black magic? And yes, some of us do take them as gods.
Because I am supposed to be looking into different beliefs and faiths, is it still possible of me to be the only one who exists in this world? The “puppets” coming from all sorts of religious or philosophical backgrounds can approach me and proclaim this or that is the truth. So how do I differentiate between falsehood and truth? I mean –in a truth, there cannot be two theories that contradict each other such as the example of believing in monotheism and polytheism at the same time which I brought up in one of my previous entries. The most I can do is to rely on my rationality. Yet, I may be wrong! I may not be well-equipped with the necessary knowledge for me to do my research. Moreover, sometimes our common sense or rationality derives from our upbringings. So, what now?
It is at this stage that we can be reminded by games or stories that have the supporting characters that are full of help to the protagonists e.g. we may find supporting characters being an influence to the protagonist to do the right thing such as how Merlin was to King Arthur, Gandalf the Grey to Frodo or Dumbledore to Harry Potter (or it could be as funny as a supporting character giving a powerful or magical sword to the protagonist to slay the nearly invincible antagonist in some games). But if we are playing those games, we must bear in mind that it is us who are the players and therefore, it is us and us alone as players who benefit from these supporting characters –and undeniably because some of the supporting characters are non-playable, they too are “puppets” programmed to serve you.
But if I were to continue believing the people around me are “puppets”, then I’d probably not find any reason why I should continue finding. What is the point of searching when I know everyone doesn’t “exist”?
At this point, I am probably offered two choices; to believe or not to believe.
It is because we often hear people converting from one faith to another –it cannot be possible God made them “puppets” to be witnessed by me as those who are being programmed even if they are a form of help in aiding me to discover the truth. Besides, for God to do that would take away the description of Him being good in nature. Then the blame is unto God –He is the deceiver if the converted people are “puppets”.
But because He is good in nature, these people are not possibly what I used to think of them –they do exist as I do. Because I know God is not deceiving me, I can thus communicate with them and ask about their stories of conversions or as simple as experiences in life. At the end of the day, if they are “puppets” not created by God but the demon, then what am I left with to believe? It is never possible of me to live all on my own, believing they are those been programmed to deceive me. So long as God is by my side, the demon can never fool me.
And in this case, I decided to believe you all exist. And because you exist, then I must find and study as much as I can.
After all, coming to all this way is determined on whether you choose to believe or not. I understand how complicated this thought process of mine can go. Like I said, I just want to fair to myself if I were to either accept or refuse Descartes’ way of thinking.
And in this case, I do not wish to discredit the value of another human being. Therefore, I choose to do my best in putting myself in his shoes.
O Lord, I truly believe You exist
Make not me among a disbeliever
Make not me among those who doubt in Your Signs
Show me the light and the way
Of those whom You bestow the Grace of Yours upon
Not those who incurred Your Wrath
Not those who have led themselves astray
Ameen
P.S: At the same time, if I do not decide to believe in something, as mentioned life is set on wheels to be turned. For an instance, if I continue thinking the world is an illusion with me being the only living soul and thus leading me to do nothing such as not getting a job but do whatever I please, I will suffer the consequence. E.g. if I do not find a job, I cannot even satisfy my daily needs such as food and starving myself will lead me to lose my consciousness –if you know what I mean. Well, because death is real. And I know that my mind/soul will have to return to God.
It is still 2nd October 2010 as I am typing this. Apparently, I should continue pouring my thoughts because I do not wish to grow insane over my doubts. Life is set on wheels to be turned.
Here is the brief summary of the previous entry; even if the world and the people around me are not real, still I exist because of my thoughts; I think, therefore I am. Because I have the ability to think, I exist. Because I exist, that explains there must be a Creator who designed me.
But it isn’t fair of us to say that those who are mentally handicapped do not exist simply because they do not have the ability to think. They do exist.
Thinking provides us with reasoning, not to mention to plan for an execution of actions in our daily life. And that is probably a gift entrusted to us so that we can reason with ourselves; therefore hopefully with reason, we can understand the world better. Is it fair then to say that knowledge comes with understanding and comprehension of the nature of things? Because we are blessed with the capability to think and reason, therefore we are responsible for what the world is moreover our treatment towards the ones who are not given the ability to do so.
But before that even becomes a practice, how do we know for sure that these people do exist? How can I even be so sure that the people around me do exist and they are talking to me, not puppets sent as means of deception and hindrance to prevent me from seeking what God wants me to believe?
At this point, I don’t think I have much a choice but to believe God is good in nature. Even if I were to think that there is a demon who has control over my life, deceiving me all along, the fact or having faith that God is good grants me a notion that there are aspects of truth in which will allow me to reach Him and obey His Commandments so as to fulfil the existence of my life. Certainly, if I can accept the fact that there is a Creator, is it undeniable that the Creator who designed me knows about the nature of me? Interestingly, if I have a thought that all my life I have been deceived by a demon all along, would that not logically prove there are good and evil?
God still wants me to reach Him. I am still given the ability to think, therefore I exist. If a demon is more powerful than my Creator, then probably the ability to think would have been destroyed by the former. I don’t really suppose the demon would ever want me to “wake up” –he would probably be having fun to watch me facing hardships. It seems to me that life would then be something like placing a pet, say a hamster, into a box and watch it wanders aimlessly.
Imagine we are the ones who are responsible for placing the hamster into such “cage” and then we place hamster-dummies –non-living dolls in shapes of that same animal – and watch how the living hamster communicates with them. What if life was that way for us, to communicate with others when we do not even know that they may not exist but been programmed to entertain us and react according to our actions? Are we been fooled around and therefore we are the only ones in the world, like the hamster being the only living being in the box?
But since I am a thinking object, God does exist because I must be created in order for me to be given the ability to think. I would acknowledge there is an all Powerful and Supreme Being and thus even the demon is created by Him. Because He is All-Powerful, there is no way the demon could have defeated Him. God can never be defeated by His own creations. One way to rationally prove it is that; I do still think and again therefore I exist. So, I was wondering; if I happened to be the only one who exists in this world whereas everyone does not, is it alright of me to live by my own laws? Truly, there are plenty of girls out there who are tempting –it pretty seems to me that should I be the only one who exist, I should rush for them and rub my palms and fingers against their fleshes because of the nature which I feel it exists and resides within me. Or I could even rob the bank without having a fear of getting caught –because I know despite the police officers could touch and handcuff me, I know they do not exist but puppets programmed to “entertain” my actions.
But honestly, it is very frustrating to live in such a life whereby you think you are not bound by rules enforced by the “puppets” around you simply because you can break them owing the fact they do not exist. Using the example of robbing the bank, you know you’ll get caught and be thrown into prison. Other examples include having yourself bruised and punched all over your body by group of bullies or even as simply as facing heartbreak after being hurt by someone whom you love (especially if she walks out of your life yet you still yearn for her).
More importantly of you getting hurt and tormented, be it physically or mentally. At this point, I may choose to continue neglect those around me and treat them in whatever ways I want. I can be rude towards my parents; I can even choose not to be caring or compassionate towards others just because they do not exist. In fact, there seems to be nothing that can stop me from losing my temper –I am then allowed to scold anyone. Not omitting the issue of food, I can choose to eat whatever I desire. Interestingly, you can even point out because I believe only my mind exist, I can choose not to eat. But is that a good idea –not to eat at all i.e. starving myself?
At some point of time, I should be aware that I am affected by the things I do. After all the hurt and pain, will it not seem obvious of me to turn to my Creator and question of my purpose of my existence after failing to endure the hardships I am going through? If it is true the objects around me are “puppets”, why then could I not tolerate or endure all the pain they give me? Constant submission to sexual desires will lead me to empirical pains such as what we know today as HIV or AIDS. Not considering the types of food I eat may result in loads of health issues. It is not like I will not feel the pain of having too much intake of certain food. We know it for sure the types of food that cause diabetes or high blood pressure –and we do feel the pain when facing these illnesses.
Thus, is life still a game in the eyes of the Creator? The demon is out of picture because I already acknowledge that no matter how much he deceives me, my Creator will still protect me from deceptions. Good point! For, I just thought of something.
It does not make any sense to me that toying with one’s life is considered part of God’s nature of good moreover when He has protecting me from the sneaky demon. Who can then tell me what is the purpose of my life should I choose to question, assuming I could no longer endure all sorts of pain in this world? I mean –some of us might now turn to Him and ask “God, why have You given me this and that etc.?
I would have gladly accepted that God wants me to worship Him –and thus, that is my purpose of existence. However, I want to be sure of things. Because God is good in nature, He will provide me with guidance. Because God will provide me with guidance, then I am supposed to be looking into different beliefs and faiths. God cannot possibly approach me because I will still be questioning if that is Him. Even if He approaches me in His true form, how am I supposed to believe that is God after all my doubts? For all we know, it could be the demon in disguise. Oh –I made a mistake! God is All Powerful, so not even the demon has the capability to disguise as Him. But probably he could approach and say, “I am God; worship me”. Do you not think we have such things today e.g. Satanism or even people resorting to what we call black magic? And yes, some of us do take them as gods.
Because I am supposed to be looking into different beliefs and faiths, is it still possible of me to be the only one who exists in this world? The “puppets” coming from all sorts of religious or philosophical backgrounds can approach me and proclaim this or that is the truth. So how do I differentiate between falsehood and truth? I mean –in a truth, there cannot be two theories that contradict each other such as the example of believing in monotheism and polytheism at the same time which I brought up in one of my previous entries. The most I can do is to rely on my rationality. Yet, I may be wrong! I may not be well-equipped with the necessary knowledge for me to do my research. Moreover, sometimes our common sense or rationality derives from our upbringings. So, what now?
It is at this stage that we can be reminded by games or stories that have the supporting characters that are full of help to the protagonists e.g. we may find supporting characters being an influence to the protagonist to do the right thing such as how Merlin was to King Arthur, Gandalf the Grey to Frodo or Dumbledore to Harry Potter (or it could be as funny as a supporting character giving a powerful or magical sword to the protagonist to slay the nearly invincible antagonist in some games). But if we are playing those games, we must bear in mind that it is us who are the players and therefore, it is us and us alone as players who benefit from these supporting characters –and undeniably because some of the supporting characters are non-playable, they too are “puppets” programmed to serve you.
But if I were to continue believing the people around me are “puppets”, then I’d probably not find any reason why I should continue finding. What is the point of searching when I know everyone doesn’t “exist”?
At this point, I am probably offered two choices; to believe or not to believe.
It is because we often hear people converting from one faith to another –it cannot be possible God made them “puppets” to be witnessed by me as those who are being programmed even if they are a form of help in aiding me to discover the truth. Besides, for God to do that would take away the description of Him being good in nature. Then the blame is unto God –He is the deceiver if the converted people are “puppets”.
But because He is good in nature, these people are not possibly what I used to think of them –they do exist as I do. Because I know God is not deceiving me, I can thus communicate with them and ask about their stories of conversions or as simple as experiences in life. At the end of the day, if they are “puppets” not created by God but the demon, then what am I left with to believe? It is never possible of me to live all on my own, believing they are those been programmed to deceive me. So long as God is by my side, the demon can never fool me.
And in this case, I decided to believe you all exist. And because you exist, then I must find and study as much as I can.
After all, coming to all this way is determined on whether you choose to believe or not. I understand how complicated this thought process of mine can go. Like I said, I just want to fair to myself if I were to either accept or refuse Descartes’ way of thinking.
And in this case, I do not wish to discredit the value of another human being. Therefore, I choose to do my best in putting myself in his shoes.
O Lord, I truly believe You exist
Make not me among a disbeliever
Make not me among those who doubt in Your Signs
Show me the light and the way
Of those whom You bestow the Grace of Yours upon
Not those who incurred Your Wrath
Not those who have led themselves astray
Ameen
P.S: At the same time, if I do not decide to believe in something, as mentioned life is set on wheels to be turned. For an instance, if I continue thinking the world is an illusion with me being the only living soul and thus leading me to do nothing such as not getting a job but do whatever I please, I will suffer the consequence. E.g. if I do not find a job, I cannot even satisfy my daily needs such as food and starving myself will lead me to lose my consciousness –if you know what I mean. Well, because death is real. And I know that my mind/soul will have to return to God.
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