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Recently, I have a very dark thought in my mind. Should I have found the truth in what my Creator wants me (and others) to believe and practise, I will leave for God’s commandments –I do not have a choice. I ask for guidance and then He gives me one. Is it then alright of me to reject it and return to my comfort zone? But it hurts me more to be an opponent of Islam should I learn that there is a religion or belief which is an absolute truth, assuming for the sake of discussion that the faith I am in is not. Not that I ask for that –I asked to be guided to the right path, the path of the righteous who never incur His wrath, the path not of those who have gone astray. Being an opponent to my home is the last thing that I ever want. And I am not a prophet; I am merely a human, seeking to understand the world and the people around including myself.
It was a painful journey for me, having coming to a stage in my life to discard and detach myself from most of the things I believe and then embark with nearly nothing. I remember the times I suffered subconsciously because of doubt. Those were the days full of hidden anger and despair, let alone depression as I concealed it from everyone by putting up a false pretence of me having assurance of what I had faith in. I would pretty much concede of my biasness during that period of mine. My mind was not coherent with my thoughts and the things I believed till today unorganised.
But maybe now after a deep thought-process which it will trouble any of us to delve into our minds, I have come to reassure myself that God does exist and He cannot be in any way that I thought of Him. That is to say, He cannot be a demon or aka a god with an evil personality or someone from the future. Some of you may want to argue that my definition of good and evil stems from my experience in the world. Partially, that is true. Yet at the same time after all these thoughts of the possibilities who my creator would be, I could describe that despite how illusionary the empirical world I live in there are notions or ideas that actually represent reality even if they are as intangible as my mind. What I mean is; I come to know there is a creator after acknowledging that I cannot be born without any cause and I cannot be sure of my existence unless I think. In my opinion, such a gift proves the existence of a creator. And even if we learn the descriptions and names of the terms good and evil, in the “realm” of thoughts we would still recognise the things which we need to know for ourselves so as to lead a life full of meanings. That is as far as I can describe best for now; I admit that in my mind right now is as messed up as before. However, I am beginning to clear things up as much as I can. Thus, you may not find me to be able to answer to my own points convincingly. The best example which I can provide for you to think about is Descartes’ idea of truth in geometry. One add to another one becomes two i.e. 1 + 1 = 2 and it is never possible for one adds to one to become greater than the amount it should give e.g. 1 + 1 does not give more an answer more or less than 2. In whatever language we used to describe the abovementioned idea, it is probably undeniable that such an idea does exist. With regards to the definition of good and evil, at this stage I could only provide an answer to the definition of evil to as far as a notion which hinders me from seeking and finding the truth along with the true meaning of my existence. Thus, I am more inclined in acknowledging that the deception is part of the characteristic of evil, to mislead me from knowing real is.
Well, I do not really see any point of actually summarising what I have already discussed in my previous entries. You know well that I have the habit of writing a lengthy article even though I have tried not to. Until there comes a time that I can express everything in my mind, I must then organise my thoughts and connect them together so as to make sense of things for myself (and yes, I need to share that I got nagged by my mom a minute ago for my messy room –thus I may not be able to write coherently). What I am pretty sure right now is to study as much as I can about the beliefs of others and what I have faith in.
However, until I am proven wrong, I do not have a choice but to go on believing what I believe. Yet at the same time, I should continue my struggle in searching for the truth with an unbiased and open mind. It is not easy, though. Moreover, I am not even in the actual state I should be in i.e. I am disturbed by many things lately, emotionally, mentally and physically.
I almost have nothing to say as I am typing down for the very last chapter which falls under the revealed label i.e. P _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. Some of you might have already known or guessed what the hidden words are and could have probably suspected it is Philosophy. Indeed, philosophy drives me mad –nobody said it hadn’t. It is not that I’d never raised a question to my facilitator who taught me in the G208 module regarding how a genuine seeker of knowledge could come to realise about truth since the theories in philosophy is almost contradicting to each other. I did.
Recently, I have a very dark thought in my mind. Should I have found the truth in what my Creator wants me (and others) to believe and practise, I will leave for God’s commandments –I do not have a choice. I ask for guidance and then He gives me one. Is it then alright of me to reject it and return to my comfort zone? But it hurts me more to be an opponent of Islam should I learn that there is a religion or belief which is an absolute truth, assuming for the sake of discussion that the faith I am in is not. Not that I ask for that –I asked to be guided to the right path, the path of the righteous who never incur His wrath, the path not of those who have gone astray. Being an opponent to my home is the last thing that I ever want. And I am not a prophet; I am merely a human, seeking to understand the world and the people around including myself.
It was a painful journey for me, having coming to a stage in my life to discard and detach myself from most of the things I believe and then embark with nearly nothing. I remember the times I suffered subconsciously because of doubt. Those were the days full of hidden anger and despair, let alone depression as I concealed it from everyone by putting up a false pretence of me having assurance of what I had faith in. I would pretty much concede of my biasness during that period of mine. My mind was not coherent with my thoughts and the things I believed till today unorganised.
But maybe now after a deep thought-process which it will trouble any of us to delve into our minds, I have come to reassure myself that God does exist and He cannot be in any way that I thought of Him. That is to say, He cannot be a demon or aka a god with an evil personality or someone from the future. Some of you may want to argue that my definition of good and evil stems from my experience in the world. Partially, that is true. Yet at the same time after all these thoughts of the possibilities who my creator would be, I could describe that despite how illusionary the empirical world I live in there are notions or ideas that actually represent reality even if they are as intangible as my mind. What I mean is; I come to know there is a creator after acknowledging that I cannot be born without any cause and I cannot be sure of my existence unless I think. In my opinion, such a gift proves the existence of a creator. And even if we learn the descriptions and names of the terms good and evil, in the “realm” of thoughts we would still recognise the things which we need to know for ourselves so as to lead a life full of meanings. That is as far as I can describe best for now; I admit that in my mind right now is as messed up as before. However, I am beginning to clear things up as much as I can. Thus, you may not find me to be able to answer to my own points convincingly. The best example which I can provide for you to think about is Descartes’ idea of truth in geometry. One add to another one becomes two i.e. 1 + 1 = 2 and it is never possible for one adds to one to become greater than the amount it should give e.g. 1 + 1 does not give more an answer more or less than 2. In whatever language we used to describe the abovementioned idea, it is probably undeniable that such an idea does exist. With regards to the definition of good and evil, at this stage I could only provide an answer to the definition of evil to as far as a notion which hinders me from seeking and finding the truth along with the true meaning of my existence. Thus, I am more inclined in acknowledging that the deception is part of the characteristic of evil, to mislead me from knowing real is.
Well, I do not really see any point of actually summarising what I have already discussed in my previous entries. You know well that I have the habit of writing a lengthy article even though I have tried not to. Until there comes a time that I can express everything in my mind, I must then organise my thoughts and connect them together so as to make sense of things for myself (and yes, I need to share that I got nagged by my mom a minute ago for my messy room –thus I may not be able to write coherently). What I am pretty sure right now is to study as much as I can about the beliefs of others and what I have faith in.
However, until I am proven wrong, I do not have a choice but to go on believing what I believe. Yet at the same time, I should continue my struggle in searching for the truth with an unbiased and open mind. It is not easy, though. Moreover, I am not even in the actual state I should be in i.e. I am disturbed by many things lately, emotionally, mentally and physically.
I almost have nothing to say as I am typing down for the very last chapter which falls under the revealed label i.e. P _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _. Some of you might have already known or guessed what the hidden words are and could have probably suspected it is Philosophy. Indeed, philosophy drives me mad –nobody said it hadn’t. It is not that I’d never raised a question to my facilitator who taught me in the G208 module regarding how a genuine seeker of knowledge could come to realise about truth since the theories in philosophy is almost contradicting to each other. I did.
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